Tag: simplifying

Preparing for the next adventure

Are the photos the remnants of a broken relationship? Evidence of a disturbed mind contemplating anarchy? Or the deeds of a couple celebrating a full life while preparing for the next stage, unencumbered by the past, saving their energy for the future?

Senescence…a fancy term for getting old. We have watched friends and family age unto death. Nothing prepares you for the personal experience.

ME

Mike and I

… have been on the road since March 20, almost six weeks. Although much of that time has been spent in SD’s basement in Chicago, we consider ourselves nomads. The basement is actually garden level, fully finished, with lovely views of the street. SD and MBP are cheerful and accommodating, making us feel welcome.

Mike and I stroll the lush neighborhood, contemplating living here part time. We would be close to two of our children and their families, including our newest grandchild, LLJ.

The weather

…reminds us of one of our reasons for leaving. Many people aggrandize Chicago. No one boasts of its weather. Yesterday was 80 degrees, sunny. Today is 50 and gray. The vacillation discourages routine except for the hardy. The cold gray humidity provokes my headache and lethargy. I am not hardy.

Summer can be wonderful or miserable, depending upon the humidity. It can change within the hour. No one boasts of Chicago weather.

Home

… is Peoria, Arizona. ED and her boys wait for us. Okay, they don’t wait. The boys barely notice our presence or absence. But much of our love abides there. We have good friends, family. And most of the year, glorious weather without headache.

We are preparing

…for the next stage, whatever it is. We are committed to house sharing until Mowgli graduates high school, another four years. Now in our eighth decade, Mike and I understand that much can happen in that time, mocking any plans we make. It is not the time to decide on where we will spend our elder years.

But we simplify our lives. Family heirlooms are distributed to younger loving hands. Knick knacks requiring care without sparking joy are donated. Photo albums are emptied, their contents digitized.

Mike brought several albums on this trip and has spent downtime scanning photos. We have a good time recalling long-forgotten people and events. We feel a little guilty when we realize that we have lost a memory completely.

Before discarding the photos, I glance at them. I snap shots of my beloved deceased cousin to send to her widower. Forty plus year old photos of neighbors are shared on Facebook. The photo of our family skinny dipping at the lake goes into the family chat.

Then they go into the trash

…for the hotel housekeepers to find. What do they think? Are the photos the remnants of a broken relationship? Evidence of a disturbed mind contemplating anarchy?

Or the deeds of a couple celebrating a full life while preparing for the next stage, unencumbered by the past, saving their energy for the future?

The Clampetts

We spend the first half of our lives accumulating things and the second half discarding them.

Oh my

Preparing for the second half

We spend the first half of our lives accumulating things and the second half discarding them.

anonymous

Mike and I are in the second half. The future shortens, and we prepare by cleaning.

Supporting capitalism

Family growth naturally resulted in the amassing of possessions as interests and needs changed. Objects unique to our younger minds (e.g. cooking gadgets) become space wasters. Mike and I kept life simple as a necessity, either moving frequently or living in limited space. The longer we stayed, the more we collected.

Time to downsize

Our most recent move to a larger space to share with ED and the boys allowed us to downsize our personal life. Fortuitously, ED is approaching the discard stage of life.

Now Mike and I find ourselves on a leisurely cross-country trip, ultimate destination Chicago and the birth of a new grandchild. We grasped the opportunity to load the car with items to distribute along the way. I am reminded of the old TV show The Beverly Hillbillies.

Gifting our memories

In Burlington, Iowa, we will donate an antique sleigh crazy quilt and child’s sled to the historical society. We used the 14.5 pound quilt for years when we traveled, making up beds on the floor for the kids if needed. The quilt holds dust from Europe.  

The quilt recalls my father’s story about the coldest day in his life, when the family sleigh flipped over on the way to Christmas with the grandparents. The quilt holds my father’s skin cells and those of his family.

The sled displays my father’s initials; I imagine him as a child, carving them into the wood. I am thrilled that I can leave these items to be appreciated by many people.  

SC now lives in a spacious condo: time for her to decide how to store possessions so meaningful that she hasn’t looked at them in 20 years.

There are boxes labeled C-boy’s baby. A few items of sentimental value and limited practicality that he and P-DiL can decide to use or not.

No, thank you

My mother pushed items onto me because . . . they had been in the family, so and so loved this, this is valuable. If any of those reasons were true, I pondered but did not express, why were the items sitting in someone’s basement? I resolved to let my kids honor their own memories.

Life to live

So, we hand over these objects with love. We will take time to recall the memories together but trust that the items will have served their purpose if no longer needed. Then whoever holds the object can decide what to do with it.

I have Life to live.