The blessings of being a grandparent

Our retirement is not what we envisioned. But it couldn’t be better than this. Grandparenting has its rewards.

 “The blessing of being a grandparent was knowing all the things that had to be done and having the time to do them. Some of her friends thought that extra patience came with age, but that wasn’t it, of course. Their calendars just weren’t as full.”

— All Adults Here: A Novel by Emma Straub
Retirement grants time for reflection.

This is a day that we give thanks.

Having endured a chaotic year of schooling during the COVID-19 pandemic, we now celebrate Mowgli’s commencement into high school.

Grandparenting is the reward for surviving parenthood.

I kneel before my friends who for many reasons accepted the responsibilities of parent for their grandchildren. Patience for them must come with age because their calendars are plenty full and their energy depleting.

Mike and I have always attributed our success as parents to our children. They are by nature kind, generous, and compassionate, attributes for which I judge all people.

Although there are many handbooks for parenting, no child is born with a manual for their specific model. Hmmm. God, could you get IT busy on that?

I salute our daughter, the boys’ mother.

She treats each child as though she had read the manual, exhibiting much patience in difficult situations. We couldn’t be the grandparents that we are if we didn’t trust her mothering.

We can be the source of unconditional love because we have the patience that comes with having extra time and fewer responsibilities. We are free to ignore the sulkiness and enjoy the cheer when it surfaces.

We are there…

…as these children mature into adults. Our retirement is being lived out in the presence of our grandsons. They are learning grandparenting, retirement, aging from us.

Living daily with the boys, we get to enjoy the minor victories, the silly jokes, and the daily growth that we may have missed with our own children, because we have the time to watch and reflect.

Our retirement is not what we envisioned. But it couldn’t be better than this.

Life was good until it wasn’t then it was

Whereas in time of crises I binge watch “Arrested Development” while formulating a move to Norway to hibernate, Allen rants (often a source of amusement for family and friends), expresses gratitude for life, and then steps out on a new path.

Although retired, he was going full throttle, busy with his foundation, public speaking, and board work while publishing a memoir. He added a physical fitness regime at 75 while maintaining a close relationship with his wife, children, and grandchildren. Life was good until it wasn’t.

The Wall

The COVID-19 pandemic wall was erected as quickly as the Berlin wall of 1961. Thankfully, it should not take as long to deconstruct. Ill-prepared, people have been forced to reorganize every aspect of their lives to remain safe and sane. Allen Lynch is no exception.

Remarkable Life

If surviving birth is remarkable, all people live remarkable lives. Some people face events that are exceptional and therefore attract attention. Allen and his family are those people.

Awarded the Medal of Honor for actions in Vietnam, Allen then went on to assist veterans throughout his post-military career, eventually establishing the Allen J Lynch Foundation addressing the needs of veterans and their families. His personal battle and management of PTSD is evident in the compassion he extends to veterans.

Personal crises struck with the untimely death of a beloved daughter-in-law, mother to three young children. The Lynch family turned the birth of a grandchild, born with critical medical needs and not expected to survive, into a blessing as they rallied to raise a beautiful child who continues to thrive. Allen himself suffered a medical trauma that woke him to the fragility of and appreciation for life.

Reassessing

Having learned that “we make plans and God laughs,” Allen keeps plans fluid as he uses the isolation of the pandemic to assess his pre-COVID life style. His plans revolve around family, staying home to read history and the classics, ruck with his son for fitness, and enjoy his time as husband, father, and grandfather. He meets with people via the internet, avoiding long drives. As his friends long for the end of isolation, Allen admits sheepishly that he is enjoying this time.  

Life is good . . .

then it isn’t, then it is, . . . Allen confessed that recovering from setbacks requires a lot of motivation. I have known Allen for almost 50 years (!). Whereas in time of crises I binge watch “Arrested Development” while formulating a move to Norway to hibernate, Allen rants (often a source of amusement for family and friends), expresses gratitude for life, and then steps out on a new path.

I will keep that strategy in mind, minus the ranting.

Allen with wife- who-will-be-sainted Susan, presidential inauguration 1981.