It is insidious, slinking in over time, evoking reactions of anger and irritation against annoying people, inoperative software, immature politics. Eventually, I give up, staying in my room reading, watching TV, playing video games!! I crave sugar, pasta, and alcohol. The circle spins as my body doesn’t move and is filled with poisons, leading to deeper despondency.
My depression does not prevent me from doing the necessities. I complete my job responsibilities, laundry, housework and social obligations. Without friends and family to pry me from the house, though, I need only the thought of facing a group of people to keep me at home and away from fitness classes.
Depression does not need a reason. The answer to the question of “what do I have to be depressed about?” is “nothing!” I am fully aware that well over 99% of the world views me correctly as privileged. I enjoy relatively economic stability as well as good health for myself and my loved ones and have escaped the horrors of addiction that plague so many good families.
Medication certainly helps, and I take it regularly. But this week, with my exercise buddies out of town and heat driving me indoors, it is apparent that medication doesn’t do it all. So I need to be extra kind to myself and others. This shall pass, I remind myself.