Like a roller coaster inching its way up a steep incline, like seasons refusing to turn or kittens scampering to follow a laser light, our family life is unsteady. Having teased our family and friends with suggestions of relocating, I am now bombarded with requests for information: where are you going?
The short answer: we don’t know.
If that’s all you need, you can stop reading now. If you are curious, bored, or enjoy rabbit holes, read on.
The original plan for the Casa de Cornelius Group Home called for us to remain in place until the boys graduated college. Over the years, the reasons for that time frame became ungrounded—the boys connect with their friends online, precluding the need to be close to them when home; Mowgli will probably not attend college; our ancillary roles as chauffeur, cook, and safety officer are unnecessary now that the boys are independent and ED works locally.
Dominos come to mind, an untidy pile of them, waiting for the hand of God to stand them on end and tap her finger to activate the parade of events leading to our next stage in life. I guess she has her mind on bigger problems. We must deal with the tiles ourselves, rearranging but never organizing the mess.
These are the dominos:
1. Two women managing a home is like two people driving an automobile: there is potential for disaster. We have made it work, but ED and I dream of our own space.
2. Our large house and park-size yard are expensive to maintain, in time and money. When we travel, ED does her best to care for it, but it is a burden.
a. Mike denies it takes time to maintain.
3. My interests are moving away from the suburbs. I will forever treasure the remarkable memories and relationships forged in this setting. This house was functional, but I never felt at home in it. I am ready to move on.
a. Mike, of course, would prefer to stay.
b. I am considering a pied-à-terre.
4. Mowgli has been thriving in tech school, learning building trades and impressing us with a remarkable work ethic. However, it is apparent he will require emotional, if not financial, support from his mother for years to come. He graduates in May. (How did that happen?)
a. Statistically, there is a good chance that Blue Boy will live at home after college.
b. ED’s little house will not be big enough for one or two young men.
2. ED informed her tenant that she will sell the house at the end of the year. Following the sale, she considered buying Mike’s dad’s house where Mike’s sister is living, a better fit for her and the boys than her mini house in Glendale.
a. Mike owns half of his dad’s house.
b. The income from the sale would help us with our plans (keep reading).
3. Mike’s sister is reluctant to move but unable to buy out our half. ED has been helping her traverse the overgrown path of cleaning out and making decisions.
4. Most urgently, ED needs a job. After an abrupt layoff, she immediately found a new position. Literally new. The company developed her position to institute a new procedure. Unfortunately, within a few weeks, it was apparent that the corporate structure would not support the position. ED left on amicable terms.
a. Job hunting in the technical age requires contacts, perhaps more than before. Forget your application being picked up online, no matter how you word it. This woman is amazingly qualified, but without direct contacts, there is no chance of getting a response.
b. She was offered a lucrative position, returned the acceptance, and then never heard from the company again despite attempts to reach them. Ghosting seems to be the way with offers and interviews. It’s a jungle out there.
5. Having decided that we no longer need to be within throwing distance of the boys, and the boys preferring we weren’t within throwing distance, Mike and I started talking about moving our pitch to Chicago. The time with the boys, nearly 24/7 from birth, showed us how vital those early years are in forming relationships.
a. Yes, winters in Chicago are wicked. I will need to account for that. Hopefully, the warmth of my babies’s love will melt the cold and ice. Right.
b. Do we want a house, a condo? Mike keeps busy with yard work and house maintenance. Condo probably wouldn’t do for a primary residence.
c. To spend time with the kids and grandkids, it is necessary to be nearby to catch the moments when they are available.
6. P-DiL works in downtown Chicago and catches the express bus outside their front door. C-boy landed a teaching job about a mile from their condo. He can ride a bike or walk if needed. SD and MB-Dil (most beloved daughter-in-law—did you know SD had married?) are just over a mile away and on a bus line from C-boy and fam. Very convenient for visiting.
7. C-Boy and P-DiL are renting, their lease coming up, once again, in April, and desperately need more space. I suggested finding a two-flat or duplex. We could be close, but not together. I am done with together. They agree. I am not sure they are serious.
8. SD and MB-DiL bought their current condo in response to two issues:
a. A tenant in their former building refused to pay HOA fees and behaved in ways that damaged the four-plex, sending its value plummeting.
b. MB-DiL brought a dog to the relationship, requiring a yard to do its duty. The former condo did not have a yard. (Sadly, the beloved dog Piper died.)
c. SD and MB-DiL suggested (facetiously?) a three-flat.
9. Job hunting challenges and the need for income to support a kid in college have led ED to expand her search to include Chicago. Both boys like the prospect.
a. Perhaps an entire building with four units. We would be our own HOA with manager/maintenance (Mike).
Likely I have mislaid dominos in this accounting. To prepare for whatever, we are slowly cleaning out, packing, consulting realtors, and hosting Final Tour events, beginning with a pool party at the end of summer. The highlight was and will remain J W-Jones Trio house concert. How many people get a world-renowned (NOT facetious*) musician to bless them with a private concert?
*I have loved the word “facetious” since a college composition assignment to write a parody. Said professor exhibited enough quirks, including frequent use of the word “facetious,” to make completion of the assignment effortless. She thought my essay was hilarious, laughing aloud as she read it to the class.
We may mimic Cher’s final tour and never leave. After major surgery, in our case, cleaning, packing, and selling, we might decide to remain here in the desert. I think of that often. Closer to central Phoenix, I can feed my passions and remain close to family and friends. Now late November with Chicagoans posting about snow, cold, and darkness. Arizona is appealing.
Then I think of pixie smiles, wet kisses, and pudgy arm embraces. My heart melts. I bought a winter coat at Costco.
To be continued. . .
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