I just recounted and renumbered the dominos. I am up to fourteen. They bounce as if someone had punched the table from below. Those dominos, written about in previous blogs, are shifting, rearranging, refusing to line up on end. It was expected, yet I was surprisingly surprised. Or maybe disappointed. Or frustrated. I am the reader who sneaks a peak at the end of a mystery. Once I know the “destination” I can enjoy the “journey.” At this time in our lives, we seem to wander like Moses, but like the Israelites, I am complaining the whole time.
I looked forward to the Christmas holidays with the family in Chicago. There were plans/dreams/hopes of getting plans into place for our next move. For three days I valiantly donned my new winter-wear and trudged through the city streets merrily. By the fourth day, the thought of donning leggings, pants, heavy socks, boots, parka, hat, scarf, and gloves discouraged me from leaving the condo. Melancholy ran through my veins as gray clouds hovering low above our heads threatened the city with rain or sleet or snow. Typical December weather. The Chicagoans continued their activities despite the weather. Thirty years in Arizona, and having left the Midwest for sunshine, I ditched my plans for the day, opening plenty of time to think about the dominos.
Domino 13: P-Dil’s father, PDD, was home for a few months, enjoying the holidays, connecting with the grandkids. He announced he will renew the lease on his Chicago condo, realizing, after a few months in the Philippines, he does not want to spend the entire year there. That tile, taking over his lease to be near the grandkids, while not load-bearing, went to the bottom of the pile. Plus, it is always fun to see him when we are in Chicago.
Dominos 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14: Ever ready to be open to other possibilities, I had arranged a meeting with a realtor to research Chicago property. A double domino rose to the surface: C-boy and P-Dil shared they had renewed their lease and are applying for emigration to Canada, not a simple task, as it turns out. Canada isn’t excited to see their southern cousins tromping over the border. Although the process will take at least two years, purchasing property in Chicago seemed ill-advised. I canceled the realtor.
Domino 7: Back at the ranch in Arizona, aka Casa de Cornelius Group Home, ED continues job hunting. Observing her job hunting in this complex digital age makes me thankful that I am retired. The online processes are cumbersome, demeaning, and useless. Recently hired friends told her a contact in the company is necessary. She is playing her broad network as much as she can. Note to reader: if you have any connections in health-care, particularly senior or dementia care, in Arizona or Chicago, contact me.
Domino 5: Nine months ago, ED informed the tenant in her little house in Glendale that she would not renew the lease at the end of the year. The tenant is out, albeit 10 days late. The house is a mess. Thankfully not destroyed, just dirty and filled with junk, the yard a jungle despite their promises to take care of the landscaping. ED is preparing it for sale or to move back in if the job domino doesn’t fall into place soon.
Where are Mike and I in this equation? Will we, like Moses, wander through life and never see the Promised Lane, whatever that is? Actually, Mike would be perfectly happy to stay where we are. He only moves to stay married. I am the restless one. We don’t have forty years. We won’t leave until ED and the boys are settled.
Thus, I am resigned (it took me a good half hour to pull up “resigned” from the depths of my gray matter and then I didn't like it but felt obligated to use it because it was so labor-intensive) to stay in this house longer than I had hoped. Aware that life changes quickly, I continue to treat the house as a temporary domain. Meanwhile, we can host a lot of parties.
Two things I know: I don’t want to spend the summer in Arizona, I don’t want to spend the winter in Chicago. We had postponed trip-planning this year to allow time to shuffle our residences if needed. Now, I am planning trips. I am waiting for God to laugh.
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