Show of hands: who is tired of this pandemic? Pandemic fatigue. This term which I heard first on a podcast (The Happiness Lab?) is certainly accurate for me. I am tired: tired of learning about, protecting against, and tolerating insanity around COVID-19. Exacerbated by political turmoil at all levels, by extraordinary summer heat, by concern for the environment of future generations, and by the physical pain of recovery from surgery, the fatigue overwhelms. I’m tired.
So I sleep, although not always well. Turning off my alarm at 8:00 a.m. in the cool, dark garden-level bedroom, it is easy pull up the duvet and sink back to sleep after 9-10 hours in bed. Attempting to read at any time of day risks dozing. My repertoire of creative activities – music, writing, reading, sewing, Zooming, chatting – rather than fulfilling, serves as distraction from my state of lethargy. As soon as I complete a project, I am drawn to nap. Physical activity which can be energizing is limited by knee surgery. Is it improving? I really don’t know.
It is dispiriting that the light in the tunnel is just guiding us through it. Masks and physical distancing are improving pandemic numbers but will not conquer the virus. The light at the end of the tunnel is a vaccine and still some distance and rough roads away. Emerging from the tunnel we will celebrate while taking inventory of the shambles to individuals and society. Meanwhile legislators rule by greed, glaciers melt, and there are still bills to pay, children to raise, illnesses to heal, deaths to mourn, [fill in the blank . . .]
Wow. This essay is gloomy although I don’t feel depressed. I just feel tired.