I consider myself a fairly optimistic person, while recognizing that I rest upon relatively stable economic, social, health, and faith foundations, not risking starvation, oppression, or loss of home. Therefore, I was surprised to awaken this morning with a sense of anxiety which, I admit, has been building over time and is directly aimed toward the general election a few days away. The COVID-19 pandemic is a prime source of anxiety now heightened by the horrible political circumstances in the USA mirrored around the world. There is little consolation in learning that the general election of 1876 nearly tore the country apart. Today’s technology exacerbates, at a minimum bad feelings and at worse, global repercussions of misuse of power.
God! No wonder everyone is anxious. Retireesseems to fare best probably because we are used to a relaxed schedule and benefit from the economic stability of the 1950’s, if one is of the privileged race. Younger people are having the most trouble, perhaps because this is a new test for them. That being said, I feel those of us “of an age” sense time getting away from us in good times. Now that the pandemic dictates how we spend our days, we may feel cheated.
But that isn’t really my anxiety. Although I grieve for the victims of the pandemic, from those of us who are losing time to those who have lost their lives and everyone in between, I grieve that my generation’s dream for this nation has become so distorted. And I grieve that I feel helpless in spite of politicking and voting. I grieve that I feel prevailed upon to use my limited energy and mental faculties to fight for right when I prefer personal creative endeavors.
This is when I would like to get a glass of wine. But I have been observing my imbibing habits and have learned that however I feel when I pour the drink, I will feel even more intensely after the drink. So, I will take a walk, boost my mood, then pour the wine.