The news from the orthopedic doctor was not good. The meniscus is torn with a compression fracture in the tibial plateau resulting in inflammation of the bone. The only long-term remedy is partial knee replacement. Unfortunately the cruise we have scheduled to leave in nine weeks does not allow enough time for recovery. The short-term remedy is pain control and staying off of it as much as possible.
I was disappointed but not surprised. Another injection of cortisone was endured and OTC pain meds discussed. Hopefully I can arrange for surgery following shortly after my return. If I require another injection before the cruise, the surgery will have to be postponed another three months to reduce the risk of infection.
The following day my knee is stiff although the sharp pain is decreased. Feeling physically uncomfortable and emotionally frustrated, I contemplated chores I could tackle. First, lunch. I found some roasted chicken, Brussel sprouts, and greens leftover from last night’s dinner. That’s healthy. Then the box of Girl Scout cookies concealing the last three cookies; Trefoil, one of my favorites.
Does anyone else get a sense of satisfaction when cleaning up by eating up? I don’t mean emotional eating to stuff yourself with good feelings. This is more like emotional eating to tie up loose ends: consuming the last bites of macaroni and cheese or the remaining spoonful of ice cream in order to clean up the bowl or clear the refrigerator. The feeling is similar to wiping down the sinks and laying out fresh towels. The work is done; now we can move on.
Disposing of the cookie wrapper and placing the box in the recycle bin did motivate me to move on to putting laundry away. I hadn’t binged to fullness, but one cookie, two at the most, would have satisfied my craving for sugar. What nagged me was the need to complete something; the almost empty cookie box was easiest.
Could there be a more obvious sign that I feel out of control?