An unfamiliar feeling settled in my heart. Introspective as I am, I studied myself to define the trigger and the emotion. With alarm, I realized that it was happiness. How long had I gone without feeling happy?
I returned to my physician to report on my first two weeks on Lexapro. He laughed then apologized when I related my story to him.
Met with my confession of depression, friends and family would ask, “What are you depressed about?” It was frustrating to answer, “nothing.” Life was good. I had a loving husband, independent children, good jobs, beautiful home, many good friends and family. But a friend took one look and urged me to visit the doctor and, reluctantly, I brought up the subject to him. He was understanding, explaining that depression or anxiety is often manifested as a lack of interest in subjects formerly interesting. He started me on Lexapro, assuring me that I would see quick results.
Within two weeks I experienced the mystifying condition now recognized as happiness. Within six weeks I was astounded at how well I could handle the challenges of life.
Why was I alarmed that first week? My depression was mild, not incapacitating. How easy it would be slide into a mire of darkness. My heart goes out to people who are cemented in that mire. Not taking happiness for granted, I remain alert to signs that my chemistry is sabotaging my brain. Sometimes, life is better with chemistry.
I hate it when people say “why are you depressed? You have a good life” or “happiness is a choice”. I’m so sorry you have to hear that so much. Wishing you wholeness.
I am happy for you! See how that chemistry is effective even across the country 🙂