– Jessica Matthews
Facing the door
I have donned my walking clothes, including shoes. The door is just 10 feet away. I need to ignore the knot of fear that is holding me indoors. Venturing out for exercise can be intimidating for an introvert.
The neighborhood is as safe as any in today’s society. The weather is pleasant, perfect for walking. I know I will feel refreshed when I return home. What is there to fear?
Weighing the risks
I learned to forgive my introversion tendencies after reading Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Recognizing the anxiety that accompanies a benign venture into public, I force myself to proceed, knowing that the benefits outweigh the risks. Imagining the renewed energy and flexibility that results from a pleasant walk enables me to put aside my anxiety for now. I will face it again next time.
Joining good friends and looking forward to coffee together enabled me to attend a pre-COVID-19 yoga class. That was enough socializing for me for several hours. I have found the Zoom edition more comfortable socially although not as challenging physically. I need to remember the rewards if I am to return to classes in the future.
Competition
Team sports are torture unless with good friends and only for fun making pool volleyball in my backyard ideal. I claim to be non-competitive because I lack the athletic skills to win. How does one win, though, if unwilling to put herself in front of a group?
I enjoy “competing” against myself. Sports such as golf, jogging, tennis, and swimming appeal to me as I measure my performance against my previous feats. Put me on a team or in a large class, and I will retreat to the back.
Overcoming Fear
There is an element of narcissism in introversion: what if someone looks at me? What are they thinking about me? If they talk to me, what will I say? This tendency has relaxed over the years, as I have found enough success in life to fortify my ego, while a degree remains to keep me humble.
Success
I eye the door. Imagining the cool air hitting my face, I open it and step out.
